Egypt Issues Arrest Warrant For Jon Stewart

Egypt Issues Arrest Warrant For Jon Stewart
The Daily Current

The Egyptian government has issued an arrest warrant for American comedian Jon Stewart, accusing him of blasphemy and fomenting "anti-Egyptian" sentiment.

The charges come just two days after Stewart used The Daily Show to blast Egyptian president Mohammed Morsi over his harassment of Bassem Youssef, an Egyptian satirist critical of his government.

Youssef is the host of the wildly popular El Bernameg, a satirical news program inspired by Stewart's Daily Show. He has been questioned by police in recent days, and the government has threatened to revoke the licence of the television station at which he works.

According to a statement issued by Minister of Justice Ahmed Mekki, Stewart will also be charged with "contributing to the delinquency of an Egyptian", for his role in inspiring Youssef to challenge the Islamist regime.

Mekki claims that since clips form The Daily Show are rebroadcast in Egypt on CNN's international channel, Stewart is open to prosecution under Egyptian law.
Pyramid Scheme

"Mr. Stewart has 30 days to surrender to Egyptian authorities in Cairo," the statement reads, "If he does not comply he will be tried in abstenia and we will seek his extradition from the American government.

"This conspiracy to defame the Egyptian government violates our laws and will be prosecuted fully. Mr. Stewart may think he's funny. But in reality he is destroying the moral fiber of Egypt with his numerous references to penises and openly flamboyant homosexuals like Larry Craig, Marcus Bachmann, and Lindsey Graham."

Some have reacted with surprise that Egypt is investing precious time and energy into pursuing a legal case against a foreign comedian. Faced with a collapsing economy, a constitutional crisis, and an epidemic of sexual assaults - the government's resources could perhaps be better used.

However, in an exclusive interview, Mekki says there is nothing more important than defending Egypt's honor against America's most prominent political comedian.

"We're making this our top priority," he beams, "We're taking prosecutors off of sexual harassment and domestic violence cases and reassigning them to Stewart. These jokes simply cannot go unpunished.

"We're also planning to get The Moment of Zen segment removed from the Egyptian broadcast immediately. We can't have Buddhist fifth infiltrating our Islamic republic."

According to legal experts, Egypt's action against Stewart will have little effect as the American government is unlikely to extradite him.

"Egypt is a sovereign country," explains one prominent international lawyer, "They can do whatever they want. But their warrants have no validity in the United States.

"All this would do is stop Stewart form visiting Egypt. So I guess no pyramids for him."

Is this a poe?

Bryant wrote:
"This conspiracy to defame the Egyptian government violates our laws and will be prosecuted fully. Mr. Stewart may think he's funny. But in reality he is destroying the moral fiber of Egypt with his numerous references to penises and openly flamboyant homosexuals like Larry Craig, Marcus Bachmann, and Lindsey Graham."

Graham? Well you know he looks a little sissy and has never married, so he must be gay. Nevermind his record on gay marriage and adoptions.

I'm straight and I've never married either... I know what its like to be whispered about. Its bad because I have to be careful about how I act and who I associate with as well. My best friend's brother is gay and he's a nice guy. But I could never be seen talking to him because (unfortunately) I'd be guilty by association.

i know 2 other guys who act a little ...sissy or effeminant, but both are married, have kids, are Christian Conservatives too. But both were persecuted by thugs in high school with the same sort of mindset these muslims in Egypt have toward people like Graham. All 3 would likely be executed by the state if they had their way.

You mean the morsi that obama helped put in place?

Pun wrote:You mean the morsi that obama helped put in place?

It wasn't Morsi that we wanted. Unfortunately the more liberal groups (the ones who stood up to the government and bled for their beliefs) were to disorganized and the Brotherhood (who did nothing to help bring down the old government) swooped in and took control. Hopefully that will change come the next election (assuming that there is one).

And wasntthe right saying this would happen while obama encouraged mubaraks ouster? And wasnt it the administration saying that the muslim brotherhood werent so bad guys? And who exactly do you think will come to power in libya? I dunno, but ill bet they have ties to the muslim brotherhood.