San Andreas Fault Feels Terrible For What It’s About To Do

San Andreas Fault Feels Terrible For What It’s About To Do
The Onion


CALIFORNIA—Saying it feels “really awful” about what is about to happen, the San Andreas Fault issued a preemptive apology Monday to California’s citizenry stretching from San Francisco to Los Angeles. “I hate to say it, but the amount of stress in all three of my segments has reached sufficient levels, and, well, I’ll just be honest here, it’s going to be really bad,” the tectonic boundary said, adding that it felt especially sorry for any Californians currently on the Golden Gate Bridge or in one of the upper floors of the U.S. Bank Tower in Los Angeles. “The thing is, I can’t make it stop. Believe me, I would if I could, but the friction and tension in my plates has been building and building for such a long time, and now they’re going to slip. In 30 minutes. I’m so, so sorry. Last thing in the world I wanted to do.” The San Andreas Fault noted that, on the bright side, the people of Arizona and Nevada are going to love their new oceanfront property.

Ah well, that's all ok then isn't it? So, any recommendations on where to buy good soon-to-be-beachfront property in nevada?

On a slightly more serious note, what's the chance that if the San Andreas cooks off, the effect will be strong enough to set off the Cascadia fault as well?

Worst case, another disaster relief effort. My wife is always like, "why do ppl live there if there are earthquakes?" Or "why do ppl love there when theres flooding every year?" Or "why do ppl live there when there are tornadoes everywhere?" And i say, same reason we love in hurricane ally. Cant be completely safe from nature.

Miles1 wrote:Ah well, that's all ok then isn't it? So, any recommendations on where to buy good soon-to-be-beachfront property in nevada?

On a slightly more serious note, what's the chance that if the San Andreas cooks off, the effect will be strong enough to set off the Cascadia fault as well?

For those that are not aware, the San Andreas would not drop California into the sea. Wrong kind of fault.

I would not expect that there would be much of an impact onto the Cascadian subduction zone.